The difficulty with Love
by MissBellaBlack
Summary: Sirius and Remus share a kiss and are frightened by what this means and how they feel. As years pass it becomes increasingly difficult for them to be together but they can't bear to be appart. Warning:Slash,Sirius/Remus,rated with later chapters in mind.


**A/N:**

**Hiya! This is my first story! This story can also be found on HPFF by the same name and author. All comments and constructive criticism is welcome :)**

**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.**

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It was third year when Sirius finally admitted to his fellow marauders that he was terrible at transfiguration and struggled with the simplest of transfiguration spells such as turning a match into a needle. This surprised them all as their friend had never told them that he had any problems with the subject prior to his confession (though they guessed that his immense pride had something to do with this. After all, he was a Black, even if he didn't like to admit it. And the Blacks were taught to have immeasurable pride in themselves from birth).

Sirius had always messed around in the class, even more so than in History of Magic, but the others had thought he did it because he didn't have any interest in the subject, not because he couldn't do it . However, Peter and James assured their troubled friend that they would be more helpful with homework and classwork in the future, they all wanted to train as aurors after they left Hogwarts and they weren't going to leave their friend behind just because he struggled with a class.

Confessing to a prefect, however, was a huge mistake on Sirius's part as Remus wasn't content with just helping Sirius with his homework every now and then, not when he knew he could teach Sirius transfiguration perfectly well himself. He felt it was his duty to not only help Sirius pass his exams but to get him an excellent grade as well. After all, transfiguration was very important if you wanted to become an auror. So, after gaining consent from their professor, Padfoot and Moony had been spending their evenings for the past three weeks in McGonagall's class room (much to Sirius's displeasure), practising various simple transfiguration spells. One particular evening the two boys were studying the transfiguration of porcupines into pin cushions, they had been practising for hours (as Remus refused to leave until Sirius had successfully performed the spell) and Sirius was getting beyond bored.

"Moony, you perfected that spell in first year, its me who needs the practice, not you. I'll do it some other time. It's 11pm! Can we go? Please?!" He got onto his knees and begged but Remus was firm.

"Sirius, we are not leaving until you can do this. Do you want to become an auror or not? Now, point and flick!" he commanded. Remus's own porcupine transformed into a delicate little pin cushion with an elegant pattern on the top. Sirius waved his wand and the porcupine began to hover.

"Not _swish_ and flick" sighed Remus, "_Point_ and flick, try again Padfoot".

Sirius, who was getting tired now, waved his wand carelessly and the stick of wood emitted a bright white light that filled the room before disappearing. The two marauders cast their eyes on the room around them, Sirius had somehow managed to coat the whole transfiguration classroom - desks, potraits and all - in a thick blue goo.

"Padfoot" groaned Remus wearily, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"What? I didn't mean to do it! I just couldn't concentrate" Sirius defended himself.

Remus quickly tried casting scourgify on the mess but the goo didn't budge. Neither of them knew any other cleaning charms so after many failed attempts at removing the sticky substance by magic, they called for Professor McGonagall who was not pleased to say the least.

Her lips were the thinnest of lines and her eyes were narrowed, the boys had never seen her this angry before. She tried all the cleaning charms she knew in an attempt to make her classroom usable again, she even borrowed some cleaning products from Filch's small store room, but nothing she tried would remove the stubborn mess. She turned to the pair, the harsh expression on her face made them flinch.

"I don't know what this is or how you managed to make this happen but you will come here every night after dinner until you successfully remove this blue..._stuff_... by hand. You will be cleaning without magic, is that understood?" She asked them.

"_This could take years without magic_" Sirius thought to himself, he opened his mouth to complain, but Moony kicked him in the shins, he did not want the Professor any angrier than she already was (if that was even possible), he didn't think it wise to annoy the professor further when they had - no- when _Sirius _had just ruined her classroom in the flash of a wand.

"Yes professor" they said before they were dismissed by their furious head of year. They left her to looking around her blue classroom. Once they were out of sight, the teacher's angry look was quickly replaced with a rather stunned expression "_how could third years do this?_" she asked herself before leaving the room to inform the headmaster.

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That night at dinner, Dumbledore made an announcement.

"Due to an unfortunate incident" said Professor Dumbledore, a faintly amused smile played on his lips and his eyes twinkled behind their spectacles.

"Transfiguration lessons will be held in the dungeons until further notice" As he sat down, there was an immediate outburst of angry mutterings down all of the tables except Slytherin's. It didn't matter to the Slytherin's that they had another class down in the dungeons, they lived down there anyway, it just meant they could get to class easier. However, in the opinion of most students, the dungeons were cold, dark and spooky, no one but the Slytherins went down there unless it was totally necessary. Most students felt that the less time spent down in the dungeons, the better. Even Professor McGonagall looked disgruntled at the thought of having to teach in a dungeon.

Sirius and Remus sat in silence, their cheeks were redder than the scarlet Gryffindor banners hanging above them. Sirius rested his head on the table, his hair hiding his blushing face from the rest of the school. Remus was trying to look innocent but he discovered that this was incredibly hard to do when your face was the colour of beetroot. The fact that Sirius had started banging his head on the table didn't make Remus feel any better either. While having whispered conversations throughout the day, neither Sirius or Remus had thought the news would go down that badly with the rest of the students. They were very wrong.

As Padfoot began hitting his head even harder and Remus held his head in his hands, covering his eyes, James and Peter exchanged a look.

"Are you all right you two?" James asked in a suspicious tone.

"Yes perfectly all right" lied Moony. "Padfoot spilt chilli powder in our pumpkin juice" he added, hoping James and Peter would take the bait.

"Oh!" James and Peter laughed but Remus could tell that they weren't fully convinced. Remus continued eating (while Sirius continued banging his head on the table) to try and persuade the suspicious marauders that there was nothing wrong. He shattered the innocent façade as he choked on his potato when he heard a fifth year student from Ravenclaw ask the headmaster "Who did it?"

Dumbledore asked for silence from the restless students as he stood again. The two guilty marauders held their breath.

"There is no need for you to know the perpetrators names," Remus let out a sigh of relief, he didn't want the whole of the school attacking him because of Sirius's carelessness with a wand.

"it was an accident but they are being suitably punished. After the classroom is ready for use again, lessons will return to normal. " He sat down again and the students knew that it was no use asking any more questions. So they started talking amongst themselves again, everyone asking each other

"who did it?",

"what did they do?"

and "more time in the dungeons! If I ever get my hands on who did this..".

Sirius and Remus did their best to look innocent but this of course didn't fool their fellow marauders. In the common room later on, Peter and James rounded on them.

"You did it, didn't you?" James asked but he wasn't angry, he seemed quite amused.

"What did you do?" asked Peter eagerly.

Sirius looked down. The blush that he had tried hard to hide at dinner, returning to his cheeks. Remus tried to look interested in his book which was currently upside down.

"Icoredclsomnbluegu" muttered Sirius quickly. "Pardon?" said Peter "All I heard was "blue"".

"I said, I covered the classroom in blue goo" repeated Sirius. James stared at Sirius for a moment, his face was expressionless. And then suddenly, he was beside himself laughing, he clutched his stomach as tears streamed down his face which was now as red as Sirius's. He managed to control himself enough to say "I bet the look on McGonagall's face was priceless!" Sirius allowed himself a grin but quickly looked down again guiltily when Remus shot him a rather nasty look as he lowered his book.

"Its not funny James, the goo is everywhere, it won't come of. Me and Padfoot have to go cleaning it every night until its fixed."said Moony grumpily

"What about magic?" asked Wormtail

"Won't budge the stuff" sighed Padfoot.

"Wow," said Prongs who was still struggling to fight the fit of laughter. "That's a powerful bit of magic Padfoot. What did _you_ do Moony?"

"Nothing, I was just there" said Moony, giving Sirius another death glare. "It was Sirius's handy work and now WE have to go clean up the mess" he finished, dragging Sirius out of the room. James just couldn't help himself, as soon as the portrait closed he fell back onto the couch and collapsed with laughter. He had never seen Moony so mad! And the thought of their head of year's face when she entered the goo-room made him laugh even harder. Peter had started laughing now too and they only stopped rolling about clutching their stomachs when people started to give them funny looks. They straitened up. Peter wiped the tears from his eyes and James ruffled his hair, trying to make himself presentable for the lovely Miss Evans who was sitting in the corner looking at him suspiciously.

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Two weeks later, Moony and Padfoot had still not finished cleaning McGonagall's classroom. Word of the blue goo and its conjurers had spread throughout the school (which Moony found very unfair seeing as _he_ hadn't actually done anything wrong). The majority of students weren't happy with the two marauders as the Bloody Barron had taken to lingering around the rooms McGonagall was using while she was teaching. The Barron was convinced that a pupil was going to do something to the dungeons if he was not there to supervise and he took great pleasure in scaring the living daylights out of people who crossed his path. Neither McGonagall or Dumbledore could do anything to get him out, he was a ghost so getting him to move when he clearly didn't want to was a tricky thing to do. They couldn't physically chuck him out of the castle. If he wanted to patrol the dungeons, there was nothing anyone could do. As it was only since the goo accident that the Bloody Barron had started doing this, Sirius and Remus got the blame for that as well.

Remus and Sirius faced a lot of disgusted looks and name calling. They couldn't walk down a corridor without someone trying to trip them up. Luckily James and Peter were there to hex anyone who did this but it didn't protect Sirius and Remus from the horrible feeling of being loathed. Sirius had faced this before, he and James had made many jokes at students' expense throughout the years which had inevitably led to the pair making enemies. So Sirius could deal with it but Remus had never been hated before and he was furious with Sirius for making him intensely disliked.

The two third years knelt on the floor of the transfiguration room, facing each other with their heads down, scrubbing the blue floor. There was only the floor to clean now and they were determined to finish the terrible ordeal that night.

Remus was rubbing the floor ferociously with his sponge as if he held a particularly nasty grudge against it. However, it was Sirius he was mad at. Remus now knew what it would feel like if his secret was revealed, if the school discovered that he was a werewolf. He would be ignored by people he had considered friends, taunted by the Slytherins and avoided by all the other students in the school. He couldn't even be sure that the Gryffindor's would stand by him. The horrible thoughts crossing his mind made him scrub the floor with even more ferocity.

Sirius knew that Remus was mad with him which was why he wasn't cracking jokes or making smart remarks about their current situation like he would usually do with James. He sat guiltily cleaning in silence.

Occasionally, Sirius would look up at his friends face. Moony's brown mid-length locks where falling in to the amber pools that were his eyes .The amber-eyed boy was currently staring determinedly at the floor. His cheeks were flushed pink due to the effort of cleaning and (Sirius guessed) of avoiding meeting his gaze. Sirius stared at the boy for a little longer, he began to take in and admire the way Moony's hair was naturally highlighted with various shades of blonde and brown and the way you could look into his eyes and see the honesty and trust he had always given to anyone who had shown him the slightest trace of kindness since his first week at Hogwarts.

Sirius loved to remember the sincere surprise and joy Remus had shown during his first week of school when he found that people wanted to be his friend, Sirius had never met anyone in his life who needed and deserved friendship as much as Moony did on their first day of school. And Sirius had never seen Remus look happier than when James, Peter and himself had wanted him to become a marauder. It saddened Sirius to think that people had never seen Remus for the person he truly was before he had come to Hogwarts, everyone had always looked past the kindness of Remus Lupin and stared straight at the wolf inside. Anyone in their right mind could see that Remus was a good, loyal friend to anyone who was intelligent enough to ignore the wolf that had forced its way into Moony's world.

Padfoot bowed his head and continued to work on the blue floor while his head and heart strayed to the amber eyed boy before him. He couldn't help but feel confused as to why he couldn't get thoughts of his friend out of his head.

Remus looked up, continuing to scrub the floor as he did so. He had felt Sirius' gaze upon him moments before, sensing Padfoot's stare made his cheeks flush redder than any amount of hard work could have made them, he didn't know why he had reacted like that. It was Padfoot for goodness sake, he had known him for three years now, why had he become shy all of a sudden.

He could see Sirius's silver orb-like eyes staring distractedly at his, working hands._ "His mind is on something other than the floor" _thought Remus as he studied the furrowed brow and medium length black hair that was currently tickling the jaw of his friend. At this point, Remus forgot to be angry with Sirius as he was too busy admiring the features that made Sirius the most sought after man at Hogwarts. Though he was only third year, the layered black hair which was messy (but never as bad as James'), the prominent jaw line and silver eyes that glittered with mischief never failed to charm the women around him.

It amazed Remus that his friend had come from the House of Black and managed to be such a true Gryffindor. He remembered Sirius telling the other marauders of his mother teaching him to hate Mudbloods and Half-breeds when he was younger. Yet his best friends at Hogwarts were blood-traitors and a were-wolf.

Moony hadn't noticed that he had stopped cleaning the floor as he viewed the features of the boy in front of him. However, Sirius was stirred out of his own thoughts as the noise of Remus' scrubbing brush ceased.

Sirius raised his head. Sirius' silver eyes met with Remus' amber, they stared at each other for a while before letting each others' gaze stray. They raked over one anothers bodies with their eyes. Remus glanced over Sirius's Quidditch toned abs which were stretching the school shirt that was covering his torso. Sirius had been playing Quidditch since the beginning of the year before as had James and the strenuous training had obviously done his friend good.

Meanwhile, Padfoot was studying Remus's upper body, Remus had hadn't ever taken to flying very well. James and Sirius had tried getting him onto a broom on various occasions but Remus had kept his feet firmly on the ground ever since his compulsory flying lesson in first year. However, his body was as muscular and toned as if he had been training every bit as hard James or himself. Padfoot had never noticed it before but he thought that Moony's body was more slender and gentle than his own, he thought the man was beautiful.

After shamelessly examining each others bodies, their eyes met again. Sirius hoped with his heart that he would not be rejected as he closed his eyes and pressed his lips gently onto Remus's.

Moony, startled by the sudden contact, froze. Sirius backed away shyly, blushing, muttering about being "stupid.. I shouldn't have...sorry Re-" but he wasn't able to finish. Remus grabbed hold of one of Sirius's hands. He held it tight while using his other hand to bring Sirius' head closer to his own, he brought their lips together once again.

Moony's lips pressed firmly onto Sirius's, his tongue begging entrance to Sirius's mouth, the request was granted instantly. Their already linked hands rested on the floor as their tongues fought to explore each others mouths, wanting to satisfy the strange hunger they felt for each other, taking in every flavour, exploring every crevice they could find with their tongues. They placed their free hands around each others necks, bringing their bodies even closer together, their fingers winding around strands of hair. They could smell each other, taste each other, feel each other and neither of them knew or cared about where they were or how long they knelt on the cold stone floor. They could have been there for seconds, minutes, hours, all they knew was that they wanted to be as close to one another as possible for as long as possible. The contact between them brought soft moans to their lips and the only time they broke apart was to take in small amounts of much needed oxygen. Eventually the small gasps of air were not enough and they were forced to break apart, hot and panting, their lips red and bruised and their hands still lying linked on the floor.

Once their heads had stopped spinning from lack of air, and they were able to think sensibly, they released one another's hands and continued to work on the blue floor. They worked in silence until the room was completely goo-free. By that time, their heads had stopped pounding altogether and their swollen lips were beginning to go back to their usual size and colour. As they left the classroom, they didn't look at each other, they feared the things they felt for one another. Neither of them knew what it was that made them want each other so badly and they knew they would have to face the situation eventually but for now they just wanted to think things over by themselves.

The two went back to Gryffindor tower, neither spoke a word as they climbed through the portrait hole and ascended the staircase to the dormitory they shared with the other marauders. No one was awake as it was three in the morning, they were glad of this, it allowed them to undress and get into their beds without having to talk to anyone and more importantly, each other.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading, please review!**


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